Blogging about 2009

It's been 2010 for a whole day now, so it's time for Year in Review 2009. I will start by personifying 2009 for a second and stating for the record that this past year was a bitch whore.

This is not going to be a look back at the year's TV or movies or music or video games. I spend more than enough time writing about those things every week. This is something different. This is a look back at my life in 2009.

The main reason I might not look back fondly on 2009 is obvious: my marriage ended in the middle of the year. To be fair, the first half of 2009 wasn't terrible. It just was. Time passed with little of note occurring. The second half of 2009 was like nothing I have experienced before nor want to ever experience again. Not that there weren't good things happening. As much as possible, this post will focus on the good things that were happening.

Pets

The year 2009 started on a downer. We had to put down my favourite cat Pumpkin just before Christmas 2008. However, by the end of January, I had stumbled upon beautiful long-haired Furlicity in Pet Smart and adopted her.

The other big addition to the family in 2009 was Duke's niece, Daisy. As she frequently did when dogs were involved, my ex-wife completely ignored my numerous objections to adopting another dog. Because of this, Daisy and I got off to a rough start. I guess that worked out okay in the end.

With separation plans in play, one of the big tasks for summer 2009 was to find new homes for our little dogs, Pip and Max, because neither of us wanted to take custody of the poor little guys. (There are numerous reasons that I won't go into here.) Max's first new home didn't work out so well, but he's now happily living with my ex-wife's brother. I can only assume that things are going well for Pip in her new home, because we haven't heard otherwise.

My cat Squeak had an interesting 2009. With numerous health problems threatening her life, and some personality conflicts between her and Fritzy, we decided to move her out of the basement. At first, this meant that she lived in the main floor bathroom, which was a terrible situation that just made things awkward for guests. Eventually she was allowed to roam free and claw the shit out of my furniture, but by this time in the year I couldn't care any less about furniture damage. However, her freedom in the house led to a frightening attack by a dog that we were looking after, and a panicked trip to the 24 hour vet. Despite everything, somehow Squeak is still doing fine. But her nine lives have long been squandered, so it seems highly unlikely that she'll survive 2010. But I thought the same about 2009, so who knows?

Work

2009 was the year that I topped out in my salary range. Unless/until I change jobs, I can no longer get raises (other than cost of living adjustments). This, combined with my depression issues, really destroyed any motivation I may have had to strive for excellence in my job. Not that there was much of that to start with. There is never any danger of being fired, which is key.

2009 was also the year that I did absolutely nothing of note at work. No projects whatsoever. If there were any consequences that could come of doing nothing for an entire year--but there aren't!--I might worry about my yearly performance review. But it wasn't really my fault that I was never given anything to do. I could have complained and asked for work, but I was in no mood to do anything of that sort.

Booze

Goddamn, I was drunk a lot in 2009. Saturday brew days, ALES club meetings, a bachelor party weekend, a September camping trip, four weddings (but no funerals), curling, Christmas, a Wednesday brew day, New Year's--so much booze.

I had my first ever blackout in 2009, and then had a couple more for good measure. Blackouts are especially hard for me to deal with. I'm sure no one likes waking up and wondering what happened last night, but I take it to the next level: panicking about what I did or said and feeling like complete crap for days afterward because of the loss of memory and control. So you'd think I'd stop drinking so much that I have blackouts, right? Yeah, you'd think.

Despite the increasing frequency of blackouts, Saturday brew days are typically the highlight of my week. We are consistently making excellent beer, but that's just the pretense for everyone to get together and have a great day. 2010 will surely be a great year for Saturday brew days, especially once I am able to walk the line of buzzed vs fucked.

Money

A funny thing happened in the last half of this year, as I struggled to keep my debt level under control due to new financial obligations: I stopped caring about spending money. I'm not being stupid about it, but my priorities have changed significantly.

Rather than maintain a restrictive budget for the purposes of paying down debt as quickly as possible, I am trying to enjoy my life as much as possible, which means eating/drinking out with friends frequently and buying things that I want when I want--but again, not being stupid about it. My new rule has become a simple one: as long as I'm not spending more than I am making (in other words, as long as the debt isn't growing), it's all good.

With the marriage breakdown, my main purpose for saving money--to travel the world with my wife--has been set aside, so now I'm focusing on the now. I have no intention of traveling by myself, and finding a new travel companion will not be an easy task, so I have some time. I continue to pay down debt, just at a much slower rate than pre-separation.

Friends

Although I (figuratively) lost my best friend, 2009 was still somehow a good year for friendship. Some newer friends became best friends and some old friends became friends again.

In a great cosmic twist--if I believed in a higher power, I'd say, "Good one, big guy!"--within a couple months of my marriage ending, my last three unmarried friends got married. Congratulations, guys! Not bitter at all, here...

Dating

2009 was of course the year that I started dating again. But not really. Trying to date is more accurate. Being open to dating. Online dating.

I haven't written much on this blog about my recent experiences in online dating. Not that there was much to tell. I knew there was a good possibility that someone could Google upon this blog, and so the last thing I wanted to do was screw up a potential relationship by blogging about it.

Ultimately, I had one date with a nice girl that I thought might lead to something more, but it hasn't and probably won't. We have communication issues--largely due to me, I'm sure. I'm not a good communicator.

When I met my ex-wife through online dating, it was immediately obvious that there was something special there, and communication was never a problem. I guess I'm hoping to find that exact same thing again, which I know is incredibly unlikely.

To start 2010, I am backing slowly away from online dating. I'm not taking my profiles down, but I'm retreating to the less frustrating stage one. Stage one was where I sat back and waited for people to show interest in me first. I spent the last three months in the much more active stage two, and I need a break from that. I've read every profile, most of which were terrible, and emailed every interesting person, most of which were ignored. A break from that will be nice.

I don't do New Year's resolutions--because: come on!--but 2010 will have to be the year that I get out there again. Before I met my ex-wife, I had pretty much completely given up on online dating ever working, and so I was trying to meet people the old fashioned way: out in the real world. Here I am again. I'm not talking about bars... although maybe I should be. Being back out on the curling ice is a start, but I'm not exactly meeting new people there. I'm not sure what I'm going to do; all I know is that I have to do something.

It's tough to meet new people, to date, when you spend all your socializing time within the same small social circle. And when you work in a small office with a bunch of engineers. And when you don't really like meeting new people, nor like most people in general. So, my challenge for 2010 is to figure out where I go from here.

Family

Some people might be wondering how this past Christmas season was for me. And the answer is a surprising, "Pretty damn good." My family came through in a big way for me. As they always do.

It's interesting to think that this Christmas would have played out pretty similarly even if the separation had not occurred. My ex-wife always had a trip to Costa Rica with a friend planned for Christmas 2009, so I would have been sitting at home alone anyway. Obviously there are differences, mostly in my mental state, but the events would have been the same.

2010

I don't exactly have high hopes for 2010. I expect that it will play out much like the last few months have. That's how life is. However, life can also be surprising. I'm not expecting the unexpected, but the unexpected would not be unexpected. And the unexpected would be very much appreciated.

Stay tuned!